Make More Mistakes

 

  My wife was telling me about a radio program she was listening to the other day in which the topic of discussion included mental health professionals on how stress, and in particular anxiety, was wearing away at the fabric of society. It was doing so in the way of individuals trying to cope with this idea of perfection; where making a mistake would cost them their livelihood, affection, even their very self respect. This, all wrapped up in the dread of punishment. I’ve addressed this directly and obscurely in other post, but it bears repeating where being ‘wrong’ is a concept that holds a host of prospects; all of them bad. 

  So allow me to make the key observation once more for the sake of reason on this ongoing struggle to prevail. Every single one of us learns to become what we are. Through the effort we call practice we develop continuing degrees of excellence. All around us, and permeating our environment is evidence of that process: Doctors, Lawyers, Professional Athlete, Bankers, Bakers, Jugglers, and Tattoo artist, all did not come out of a box with prowess: they worked at it, and over time, developed a treasure chest of mistakes, errors, or as defined, experience of being ‘wrong’. It is inconceivable to obtain any degree of skill without mistake; it’s how we perfect. So where did this notion of flawless-zero-defect ever take root? 

  It’s our overarching insecurity. Along with a iron rule where passion rules reason. So no matter how well we do, we dismiss the accomplishment finding flaws and errors; we are programmed to do it. From a point of view that can be helpful, because dissatisfaction in the way things are drives us to innovate and improve; left unchecked it drives us into neurosis. Dr Sigmund Freud was noted for saying children are completely egoistic; they feel their needs intensely and strive ruthlessly to satisfy them. I suspect far too many adults have allowed that child-within to run amok with their perception of how the world should be flawless…aka…perfect. When left unchecked, what we see is a stream of very unhappy people grumbling in their luxurious surroundings; legions of professionals at the height of their success suffering illness, or worse, destroying themselves, their families, their companies; injecting as well a contagious environment of discontent and dissatisfaction that by any other standard would be an ideal situation. 

   Short version is: we don’t stop to appreciate. Without gratitude nothing matters, nothing ever will, because the drive to polish away the blemishes will never let the afflicted soul rest. Kind of like you can’t see forest because of the tress. As Freud also said, “The voice of the intellect is a soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing.” I say strive to make more mistakes; develop your sense of humor and welcome the opportunity to laugh at the absurdity of thinking any of us can control the aspiration of living in a perfect world; that will only end in tears.