A Break from Ordinary

I had this idea of what this blog was going to be about today, but I struggled with the introduction. I believe I’ve stumbled upon it. I just finished reading a book about a man, Shin In Geun’s, and his remarkable Odyssey from North Korea to Freedom in the west. The book is titled, Escape from Camp 14, by Blaine Harden. I’ll not give away the story, but just mention that among the many insightful observations in the story was the aspect of the teachable moment. 

A core principle of positive psychology is generating positive emotion by deploying strengths. If any person feels grateful, they will act kindly; conversely speaking, when a person feels threatened, anxious, or insecure they will withdraw and be protective; to the point of aggression. This need not be elaborated on since most of us are far more familiar with aggression and anger than any other of the human emotions.
  But learning that others have struggles and challenges just as we ourselves do, is a key lesson; not of thinking about it; but having kindness practiced on us. Without that reinforcement, then kindness will never be nurtured into a behavior. Beyond the nice-to-have-good-feelings idea of kindness, it’s important to address the rest of the mix. When a person feels appreciative for their own good fortune they will be at ease to feel empathy; they will learn to stand up for what is right; even when it’s not easy, they do so not out of superior breeding but rather they are confident in who they are. How does this happen? Why does this happen? The complex biomechanics of the brain is the answer. The brain is the source of our entire affective, cognitive, and conative life. The brain is the parent of all our happy tears, worst decisions, and kind acts. The brain is the source of the kindness we extend and the kindness we receive. 

All of our behavior is brain-based and when mirror neurons are firing without jamming their message of empathy, kind thoughts, words, and deeds ensue; It’s proven to the point of boredom; we’re a compare and contrast species whose objectives continue to be increase pleasure and avoid pain.

The neuroscience and social science research is also abundantly clear: kindness changes the brain by the experience of kindness. Children and adolescents do not learn kindness by only thinking about it and talking about it. Kindness best learned by feeling it so that they can reproduce it. Kindness is an emotion that one feels but only from the context of being at ease. From there, empathy is a strength that can then be shared. 

We are all teachers, as fostering kindness by expressing empathy - the second cousin of kindness, doing so reinforces the behavior. Through experiences of having kindness bestowed, others mirror neurons fire in empathy for others and are inclined to demonstrate kindness towards others. There are many experiences that offer an opportunity to teach the natural empathetic connections that nurture kindness. But I’ve learned the first step is out of the terror of non-existence. I’ll talk on that later; for now, let us consider being kind as a manner of identity.