Turmoil

That’s my definition of today. 

Small details contribute to edge my usually optimistic disposition into the realm of gray.  My back hurts from over doing it at the gym. I’m looking for a job and that entails a rain of recruiting firms and work at home franchises who are seeking my investments…but no jobs.  Then an ongoing argument with the Defense Finance System that would take too much time to explain and in doing so, would tap my already ebbing emotional strength.

   I’m bummed.  And being that opens the door to turmoil.  I can’t control the rate or duration of this feeling of uncertainty.  Not that it’s personal, I know it isn’t.  Indifference never holds a grudge. 

  It’s a case of me stepping into the lime-light  of a process that is much like stepping on used gum.  It’s on my sole (duality here) and that’s all there is to say about it; I’m stuck in a net of delay intentionally set or not; I’m there.  Going down the road of deserving will only frustrate my efforts to dig the gum off with a twig I find along the roadside. 

  I feel the shift of my priorities and I’m disgruntled that I didn’t make them on purpose.  Yes, a victim of circumstances; and boy do I have issue with victimhood.  OK, so I’m gathering my command of situation and realizing I choose what mood I’ll meet the repairman with today.  Yes, along with the above irritants we’re having a fan being installed into the living room and one in the master bedroom today, lending yet an additional layer of stress onto a collective unwanted situation.  Is there a moral to this posting?  A thread shining some welcoming positive anecdote?  I can’t find any in my current grumbling. I have to go clean the outside ladder for the guy to hang the fans.

I’m sure there could be something redeeming….I’m just recognizing that challenge has come a’callin ..it’s my turn.