I was thinking about what I'd comment on this beautiful fall day. I happened on this little piece tucked away in my DO NOT DESTROY file on my computer, (sorry I can't credit the author.) But it was amusing and I thought today was a great day for something amusing. So here goes ~
Hi, my name is Bob, and I am a recovering thinker...
It started out innocently enough: I began thinking at parties
now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought
led to another and soon I was more than just a social
thinker. I began to think alone, "...to relax..." I told
myself, but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and
more important, and finally I was thinking all the time. I
even thought on the job. I knew thinking and employment
didn't mix, but I couldn't stop.
I began avoiding friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau
and Kafka.
I returned to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What
exactly are we doing here?"
Things weren't great at home either. One evening I turned
off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life--she
spent the night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss
called me in and said, "Bob, I like you, and it hurts me to
say this, but your thinking is a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking on the job, I'll have to let you go." This gave
me a lot to think about. I went home early after my
conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed,
"I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce."
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip quivering. "You think
as much as college professors, and college professors don't
make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't
have any money!"
"That's faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began
to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled and
stomped out the door. I headed to the library in the mood
for Nietzsche, roared into the parking lot, and ran up to the
big glass doors...they didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day I believe the Higher Power was looking out for me
that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling
glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.
The words "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"
stood out in large letters. You may recognize the line: it
comes from the standard issue "Thinkers Anonymous" poster.
Today, I am a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video-- last week
it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we
avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have
my job and things are a lot better at home. Life just got
easier, somehow, once I stopped thinking. Soon, I'll
be able to vote Republican again.
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't.
It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
It started out innocently enough: I began thinking at parties
now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought
led to another and soon I was more than just a social
thinker. I began to think alone, "...to relax..." I told
myself, but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and
more important, and finally I was thinking all the time. I
even thought on the job. I knew thinking and employment
didn't mix, but I couldn't stop.
I began avoiding friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau
and Kafka.
I returned to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What
exactly are we doing here?"
Things weren't great at home either. One evening I turned
off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life--she
spent the night at her mother's.
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss
called me in and said, "Bob, I like you, and it hurts me to
say this, but your thinking is a real problem. If you don't
stop thinking on the job, I'll have to let you go." This gave
me a lot to think about. I went home early after my
conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed,
"I've been thinking..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a
divorce."
"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."
"It is serious," she said, lower lip quivering. "You think
as much as college professors, and college professors don't
make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won't
have any money!"
"That's faulty syllogism," I said impatiently, and she began
to cry.
I'd had enough. "I'm going to the library," I snarled and
stomped out the door. I headed to the library in the mood
for Nietzsche, roared into the parking lot, and ran up to the
big glass doors...they didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day I believe the Higher Power was looking out for me
that night. As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling
glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.
The words "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"
stood out in large letters. You may recognize the line: it
comes from the standard issue "Thinkers Anonymous" poster.
Today, I am a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting.
At each meeting we watch a non-educational video-- last week
it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we
avoided thinking since the last meeting. I still have
my job and things are a lot better at home. Life just got
easier, somehow, once I stopped thinking. Soon, I'll
be able to vote Republican again.
It's not that some people have willpower and some don't.
It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.
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