The Fatal Glass of Beer

  My father was a big W.C. Fields fan; one of his favorite films was the 1934 rendition called The Fatal Glass of Beer. A gag that became a WC Fields trademark was the scene of when he looked out the door and Said, “It’s an unfit night for man or beast” then got a handful of fake snow tossed into his face. Every so often, as the plot developed, he’d go back to the front door, open it, then while looking out at the weather say the same thing; with each time getting a face full of snow. It became funnier each time, while it grew intriguing to see what would happen the next time; the beauty of it became known as the running gag.

  Growing up I conjectured the meaning of the fatal glass of beer meant if one were to follow their vices, eventually one more helping, such as a single glass of beer, would be the final tip to bring the accumulated failings crashing down. But I had mixed my idioms. The ideal I was thinking of was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and that is from an Arabic proverb concerning how when a camel is loaded beyond its capacity to move or stand something as slight as a straw can surpass the limits of endurance.
  It was only recently I remembered my dad walking around the house from time to time saying, “It ain’t a fit night out for man nor beast;” And just where that came from. Anyway, I followed those bread crumbs to the lyrics of the song that helped make that film a comedy classic. I thought I’d share them for their antiquated charm. As well as my inserted comments:

Fatal Glass of Beer

(From Helen Ramsay, printed in Shay's More Pious Friends etc.

Recorded by W. C. Fields.)

There was a young man, and he came to New York

To find himself a lucrative position befitting his talents.

And he hunted all the Employment Agencies, but was nearly starved

to death,When at last he got a job in a stone quarry with all the other

college graduates. (seems like this graduating from college to find no job waiting is nothing new.)

And after work was done, they lured him into a saloon,And tempted him to drink a glass of beer.

But he'd promised his Dear Old Mother that he never would imbibe

That he'd never touch his Lips to a glass containing Liquor.

They laughed at him and Jeered, and they called him a cow-yard

Till at last he clutched and drained that glass of beer.

When he saw what he had did, he dashed his glass upon the floor,

And staggered out the door with Delirium Tremens. ( I had to look this up, it’s Latin for ‘shaking frenzy’ also referred to as the DT’s Or the horrors of withdrawal from alcohol firs described in 1813.)

And the first person that he met was a Salvation Army Lass,

And with one blow he broke her tambourine!

When she saw what he had did, she placed a mark upon his brow

With a kick that she had learned before she was sav-ed.

And the moral of this tale is to shun that fatal glass,

And don't go around breaking other peoples' tambourines.

Alas the moral of any good story remains true: actions have consequences.