Herding Cats

An Idiom I’ve grown fond of recently is comparing my efforts to herding cats; where controlling something that is pretty much uncontrollable or chaotic is similar to that; implying it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, because the factors are unpredictable; such as the nature and behavior of cats.

  I was then going to launch into bemoaning my contrition with not getting my way with a particularly troublesome institution.  I realized almost immediately that my example was not unique to individuals interacting with computerized customer service; and that specific events are not uniquely a single company experience, but rather has become the standard of all businesses.  

I understand running a business is about managing productivity and being efficient; yet there needs to be a balance so the process of being productive and profitable is not totally annoying the heck out of customers.  If I ever run for an elected office, I will offer up as my platform a resolution to burn down all phone trees. Having to listen to dozens of department options that don’t even remotely come close to solving problems is just too taxing for the average issue; or there again, screaming replies to a question four times only to have a false-calm reply of

   “I’m sorry I did not understand your answer”

  right before it disconnects you in order to afford opportunity to start all over again; I mean really, that is just unadulterated aggravation.  Such an experience turns most people into emotionally disturbed citizens who most likely take it out on fellow-innocent citizens in traffic; tuff luck for you bucko, I just got reamed by the bank robo-operator.

   So I’m going to decline ranting about automated computer call screening; along with delaying tactics of seemingly alive-and-breathing inept and rather-stupid customer service representatives who answer the phone.  I can either embrace there are an inordinate number of lead-paint eating babies who survived to adulthood, and who then obtained work in the customer service field, as also a great spin of happenstance brings them into proximity to be talking to yours truly. Still, I can also embrace my paranoid delusions that companies spend big bucks on scripting their phone programs and coaching their representatives on tactics to frustrate me off the phone in order to delay cancelling my account due to frustration; resulting in an additional day of revenue for them for doing nothing.

My point, for the day, Skulley, is that just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

  Here’s the real benefit for bringing this up:  I have the magical, mystical opportunity to not take it personal.  Going through such frustrations is yet another exercise towards the real.  What makes any situation difficult to deal with is the conflict between that which is actual and that which is expected.  When I allow my entitlement to rule, I am in the realm of expectation, ultimately being disappointed; my choice.  This was driven home when after being frustrated at home by the bank phone computer who suggest I go to a branch office and obtain the help of a branch officer discover, when I follow those directions, said bank officer is put through the very same electronic gauntlet of being upset and frustrated as this customer;  in short, it felt good to see people working for this insane outfit get the same treatment as the people it fleeces.  Yes, revenge is best served up cold.  And preferably

At the Bank of origin.