― Willa Cather, My Mortal Enemy
I
received a text message on Sunday, “Happy Fathers Day” send by a phone number
that wasn’t in my contact list. So I
responded with appreciations and asked,
“Who is this?”
The
following message said it was from someone who use to salute me, but also had
always respected me. But mostly, it went on to say, someone who considered me
his friend.
I
was more than touched, when he told me who it was I was surprised, but not
shocked. We had a long association
through the Army that stretched over decades, and we always interacted in a
friendly manner. So I pondered, what
makes us consider another ‘friend’ and not a fond acquaintance? It struck me the defining difference was the
moment of care when there was no profit.
Over the years we tipped one another off on developments and situations we
discovered. Some were useful; others
served as great caution of avoidance. As
our careers progressed we went in different directions, but continued to cross
paths from time to time; the most recent on a college campus. We both attended the same university and
literally ran into one another in a causeway. Perhaps fate had bound us to the
same road, and if I were to subscribe to that sort of metaphysical dabbling,
it’d be ok by me, because he has grown into a friend. I believe his concern is real; as I am
concerned for his welfare. I’ve had a
lot of friends over the years I thought would be with me for the duration; but
I was in error. Ours was a comfortable
alliance of convenience. When those
bonds were tested, when the reason for us to commune failed to remain, we no
longer held close. I consider that
experience a great growing lesson into value.
Loss will do that. It will hone
awareness to the point of identifying quality when it is present. Never loud and boisterous, but subtle and
kind….like an expression of appreciation; I can get use to that sound of
genuine…it is true music to my ears.
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