The Last Day

I’m still sweeping up the remains of my loss; that being, my entire list of post for the coming weeks.  I’m still basking in a fog-like enjoyment of freedom from burden.  I’m not committed to any course, so the absence of obligation provides room...room to breathe.  When I awoke this morning I knew it was the last day of 2012.  Almost as automatically, I asked myself what would I do with the last day of the year? As if it had any more preciousness than any other day.  As of late I’ve had a number of experiences that contrast my living as if.

As if I am timeless; so haste, urgency, care, or clarity didn’t have impact on my direction; I could always turn around if it were unpleasant.

As if what mattered wasn’t important; now that is something to say! Because if I believed that then I wasn’t accepting authorship to my experience.  I was allowing the deception of the world happening to me to prevail; something I believe to my marrow is incorrect.

  What I am slowly acknowledging is this:  As do I feel so shall I venture.  When I am indifferent, then of course I drift.  When I’ve drawn conclusion, then I have purpose and am driven.  Nowhere is the idea of RIGHT or WRONG never mind GOOD or BAD part of the calculus.  For that much I am glad I’ve liberated my process.  But purpose…now that’s something I can sink my teeth into.  So today I’m dedicating my sense of purpose, and by default think my way to feeling quality

So the quest is to find purpose.

Believe as I may, for the journey to get me where I desire; matter.

Pretty good for a day’s work, don’t you think?