I was going to begin this post with the statement: Coffee makes the world go around but then realized that the WHOLE world does not necessarily drink coffee. I must also admit the best coffee I’ve ever had was in a place that didn’t have electricity or floors, so what does that say about coffee and sophistication being requisite to be considered as part of the world? And, just, who I include in my concept of whole world anyhoo?
First the back ground: Coffee is a brewed beverage, meaning it is a process of making by pouring hot water over roasted ground beans gathered through a filter. It has a distinct aroma and flavor prepared from the roasted seeds of the Coffea plant. The seeds are found in coffee "cherries", which grow on trees cultivated in over seventy countries, but primarily in equatorial Latin America, South-and Southeast Asian and Africa. Green (unroasted) coffee is one of the most traded agricultural commodities in the world, but unlike gold that is also treasured, you can actually consume your coffee, whereas with gold, well it would serve as a very expensive fiber substitute. Coffee is slightly acidic (5.0–5.1 pH) and can have a stimulating effect on humans because of its caffeine content. It is one of the most consumed beverages in the world. That’s what my research tells me; nowhere does it mention that it is the servant of the devil.
But it is.
I attribute all bad qualities of human existence to the devil, and since this is my blog I can be politically incorrect if I wanna. I can also type what I feel like with impunity, ah the coffee like blush of power! So if you’re a devil lover, or happen to prefer red devil firecrackers as the best, well in that case I have to admit, you’re right you get the greatest bang for your buck there, but that’s totally happenstance that devil has any positive attributes; most likely the company was originally named Divine, or perhaps Angelic Firecrackers before it’s undervalued stock was raided and then the company was torn apart into its profit centers; that’s totally irrelevant to the zigzag of today’s post as my claims stand-fast that bad qualities belong to the devil and that coffee helps the devil enslave humanity.
Addiction, stay with me here, is a process where your will is resigned by a habit or a substance that develops a dependency on it to create an obsessive need to obtain and consume that substance. Therefore, an addiction can be non-material; gambling, stealing, violin practice . Or an addiction can be the consumption of a substance such as Alcohol, Pot, or Cheese Whoppers. Oh yes, and let me not forget coffee. So this addiction to coffee is not just an illusion, it is a fact that most of corporate America could not even begin to purchase and then sell products and services of the entire globe without the priming of coffee. Nor could America continue to produce outrageous plans to take over parts of the world that are little more than dust bowls or deserts. The only rational that can be found is that coffee induced decision makers wanted more of the rush, and figured if the topic at hand was to be conquered then it darn well is worth it, and let’s do it, over another cup of coffee.
Only the devil would provide us with such an apparently harmless item as a cheery red coffee bean that possessed such hideous hidden lethal potential. As a final point of coffee being the hand-maiden of the devil, you coffee consumers who are reading this while sipping their coffee (how did I know?) must admit without coffee business is performed under duress and the fog of missing your cup of coffee. The headaches, the obsessive thoughts of a cup of coffee, even for some, the serious consideration of selling their off-spring into bondage just for one more cup of coffee. It’s all painfully true, and I’m sad to say, pervasive. In closing I must admit I’m a little off kilter and keyed up this morning. It must be due my having a little too much 
Coffee.
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