Cosmic Rays Siphoning Time

Crazy Right? My wife and I were just agreeing on the sensation of time speeding up after looking at the clock and it was noon.  We’re up before seven every day.  We have breakfast, walk the dog and go to the gym. So am I to believe those piddley tasks take five hours?  Heart transplant surgery usually takes only four hours (baring complications of course), that’s WITH opening the chest cavity.  Liver surgery five hours to 8-9, so OK we’re approaching the equivalent arena of major organ replacement surgery is the point I am making.

  Now the details are obscure, of course, as is the nature of all successful burglaries, so then we must revisit (or visit for the first time) the nature of Cosmic Rays and how much we don’t know what they’re up to.  Science tells us that most cosmic rays are the by-product of solar fusion/fission, both from our own sun, and through the magic of galactic gravity, energy coming to our planet from all the cosmos. This is convenient setting for the theft. Since we don’t know where the rays come from, we can’t effectively slam the unlocked door on the culprits.  So the fast moving one percent of cosmic rays that do not obey the speed limits of our atmosphere blow through the atoms in our air and go directly into the ocean floor sands.  The impact drives the sands up into the undulating surf to be washed onto the shores. And, as anyone can tell you, time is the sand within our hour glasses. 

  So then, cosmic rays make sand move, which in turn speeds up sand, that is equivalent to time, and then it is secretly siphoned away from the atmosphere where it is harvested unseen to our observable universal detecting devices; for reasons beyond my or your comprehension.  I have a gut suspicion it is for viewing old I love Lucy episodes by alien races so they can unravel the mysteries of our humor...or governments, which is of course is to be redundant.  I have no evidence to cite for my conclusion; it’s just what several shots of Everclear keeps whispering into my foggy cognition whenever I wonder where has all the time gone?