Beater Boys

    When I was a boy, I got to work on my best friend Darwin's turkey ranch.  I was just a 'beater', but for the incredible fee of a dollar sixty-five an hour I could amass a veritable kid fortune just waving a croaker sack! 

   My task was to scare the flock of turkeys into a bottle neck portion of the pen where an exorbitant by-the-hour insemination team would capture and inoculate (aka give shots) to each and every bird; (Turkey's are a sickly lot and due to close living conditions apt to spread Turkey diseases!) So time was of the essence when considering the cost of the enterprise.  I was charged with keeping the birds tightly packed into where the inseminators were stationed, preventing the birds from fleeing away from the team.  Beaters were stationed at the back of the flock to make noise and wave sacks, thereby driving the turkeys deeper towards the waiting arms of the team; seemed rather simple and easy to do, I thought.

   Due to the enormity of the flock, several beaters were needed, and I, having no necessary skill sets, was selected as a reasonably good candidate for the mindless task.  I stood in the back and 'woo wooed' my little novice heart out to demonstrate my gratitude for their well-placed trust.  My fellow beater was Le Bah Ho, a foreign exchange student from South Vietnam.  His English was horribly inadequate, but nonetheless he was sent to the US for student exchange program, (I suspect it was to keep him from being drafted in his home country.)   It seemed magical that the turkeys could sense his confusion on what was actually required by beaters.  Only too swiftly a few would dare attempt an escape.  When he moved to intercept the fleeing birds, cohorts would dart out the gap he left as he attempted to thwart the effort.  So imagine several turkeys stealthily flanking movement to his right.  He'd adjust and call out 'woo woo' waving wildly his sack in reaction.  Meanwhile several others would escape on his exposed left flank.  I had to abandon my own station at the rear of the flock in order to give chase after the renegades; which made Le Ba Ho the task of attending a greater area.  It was hopeless.  Obviously part of the Turkey's ultimate over-all-plan to conquer the beater boys. The ploy continued until a good third of the flock had expatriated out of the pen into the greater freedom of the overall yard, requiring the entire team to stop what was going on in order to go fetch the escapees.  Mr. Hart was NOT amused.

   I'm tickled this morning with that recollection as I consider how in comparison our lives can be similar to that flock of turkeys.  We try to attend the entirety of our wishes, but darn if a few go skirting off on their own.  Then we, as diligent beaters, try to keep them contained only to neglect the other ones vying to get outside.  Hmm, well, visits can give you things to ponder as you pick up the clutter...that'd be mine.  Have a swell day keeping your flock under control.