It seems
to me, that many folk believe in a world of absolutes. I am puzzled by such a practice. More
often than not, I fall prey to taking it personal; as if I were lacking in the
ability to feel confident and comfortable in demanding existence be in such a
way as my preference.
It’s taken me a lifetime to unravel that
knot of discord between me and my fellow human sojourners, as well as this
persistent whisper of a sense of separation from others obvious believed sensible
values and principals. Subtle and soft as nature can appear, she can also
be considered cruel for not providing haven to a zero defect learning
process.
I've
practiced my own plethora of errors in my growing years, I have come to the
point of taking those hurts not as personal blame or guilt, but an indication
for necessary course of adjustments in what I believe to be ‘actual’.
Prefer as I will to have kindness and consideration prevail in the human
spirit, it appears more absent from my searching. As I slowly began to
understand a possible influence by the nature of things, what I wish I had from
lacking, I ultimately became devoid of, so I could justify my chosen
actions. This was, by no way, a mistake
or happenstance.
My cat, Obediah, taught me this
valuable lesson at 3 AM in the morning. Try as I would to extinguish his
nocturnal journeys onto the nightstand nearest my head, for what I concluded
was his focused purpose of knocking over water glasses or any other items
smaller than a microwave oven. He did
this for the expressed thrill of power over my slumbers. It struck me,
during a particular morning's episode, that by my overt reactions to
his antics I inadvertently created a situation of interest for him to continue
to go there; even to return. He does not bother exploring the other
nightstand. Just the one, when visited, gets great exciting things to
bubble up. I can just imagine his cat inner dialog speaking,
"Oh look how he gets excited! I
must be doing something important to have him respond to me. I must be
wonderful!"
Yeah,
well, that may be the fantasy cooking in my skull, and churning on that
conclusion gets me pretty annoyed; to the point of throwing things at
him. Which of course, could be construed as an impromptu game of
dodge ball; oh boy more fun! As this cat gets signals that I'll be
playful with these sports, he may think it is necessary to jump on the
nightstand and knock things over in order for me to come and play. For
me, at 3 am, it is a death wish I am prodded to help become a reality! Most
likely my logic and processing is fuzzy at this time of morning I have no
reason to think he had any intent beyond being a curious cat; it was just my
assumption.
Could
just as well be that perhaps because I don't have other things buzzing around
in my head, I actually have an increase in clarity and I’m right on target! It
is not the event, but what meaning I assign to it that matters. I wanted
to appreciate the idea and its pure usefulness in managing annoyance. It struck me as meaningful. Just as
expressing it this way somehow helps to bring it more into focus where the
power-of-happiness exist. Maybe that's what we should be about, learning? How
to focus by removing distractions? It
could be; .not a concrete idea, more like oatmeal. I think I'll have that
for breakfast.
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