Test

I recently graduated from College; a degree in psychology is a handy piece of experience to delve into when puzzling my way from day to day.  I wrote this piece while I was struggling my way through the language requirement.

Spanish consumes most of my attention and effort these days.

Yet I am beginning to see the results of my persistence.  I can move up my status of skill from retarded dolphin to drunken bear on a bike: What imagery!

I find testing an interesting multifaceted event. 

  Not just the many emotional climbs and dips during the struggle of anticipation with performance, but also the unexpected arrival of the glue that creates comrades in what used to be a room full of strangers.  We 'survived' that grueling 'test' and can laugh about the particulars: It becomes our banner; we passed the dark turns holding hands and are grateful for the companionship. Later, noticing a compatriot in the teeming crowd, eye contact will be made; a slight nod will be rendered; followed by a smirk of a smile in greeting to the fellowship of a secret bond.

   I like that; developing gratitude.  Perhaps it is not so much true that gratitude is 'nurtured into shape' or bringing in more of a quality sort of developing, as it is a moment of authenticity; calming down enough to accept it is part of who we are.  And ya know, that could be the true excitement a test in the class room delivers. 

When we dare to shiver in fright ~ that is meaningful to observe. That shows vulnerable human quality. And in that, assurance for everyone present that being frightened doesn't label anyone as unworthy.  Even if we might feel inadequate to a certain task that demands an unforgiving standard of perfection. Compassion for another in that fear reminds us that we are all fragile in our insecurities; even if that another is us.  Ah to remember kindness; to be gentle in our angst, this is an improvement in our living condition; Opportunity to arrive is delivered by situations of fright. What a wonderful characteristic, one worth noting. We're problem solvers and get things done; being polite in our anxiety is a practice of liberation from callous hasty ways.

Now really, what is more interesting than discovery of adequacy anyway?

  Right up there with particular experiences of bliss shared by another...and even those moments are cultivated by a spirit of adventure.

   "C’mer and peel off those restrictions" Ever seeking the delight in hearing ... and speaking...the cherished whispered

'Yes'.