A Glazed Dozen

Something different for today.

I thought to share this dozen amusing alternatives, er,  ‘different’ approaches to peculiar every-day-world challenges lurking for an accidental introduction.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the
sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze
button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.



7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will
forget about the tooth ache. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The
Rules of Life Really Are...


8. You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and
it should, use WD-40. If it moves, and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

9. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are
"I apologize" and "You are right."

10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

11. Never pass up an opportunity to go potty.


12. If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You have another chance!