I've been
working on my blog and hit one of those places I think we all are familiar; the
"my brain is tired of this" spot, or something in that neighborhood.
I make categories for feelings in order to figure out why I feel the way I do,
and most importantly, what are the elements involved so I can perhaps, avoid
that recipe if I wanted to; next time.
On this
occasion, with suddenly not wanting to do what I otherwise profess love doing, I was aware I was once more visiting what I
call the 'I-want to-be-miserable-and-will-do-extreme-things-to-be-such”
category; my psych professors would say it’s just one of many self-sabotaging
techniques. I was going to put dashes between each word, [and eventually
gathered the emotional energy to do just that, but I didn’t want to disrupt the
flow of my tale], but I'm in the like I have to be perfect mood today? I didn't want to lose this chain of thoughts like so many other swell ones
I had from the recent past...at least...I think I did, I forget. Anyway, miserable,
yeah, I could be a chocolate cake taster being paid boatloads of money and
they even come to my house and deliver the cakes, yet I know with certainty, some day, into
the not too distant future of that sweet deal, I would suddenly resign
because I would come to the conclusion I am in love with butterscotch.
No
kidding, we are a mess it up kind of species. I read just today, where a father of a child who just survived chemo treatment for leukemia was awarded a week at Disneyworld by Make-a-Wish foundation due to her prevailing so heroically through that
ordeal. He turned it down because, he
said, 'She's better, make a wish is for kids who are going to die". I mean
really, what a toad. So there are NO
limits to the human ability to mess up a good thing and I am convinced it is
our needless pursuit to be miserable.
OK...so....we
can do that, shoot ourselves in the foot I mean, and contrary to belief, it has
been reported that it usually takes three tries before that can be
accomplished (on purpose). Can you imagine? At that range? Well, there's a part of your
brain that is going to make your foot twitch every time you squint your eyes while squeezing that trigger. You
flinch, and the shot misses but just---so---itty much. That's like the rational
part of the brain pleading that just maybe a scary example is a good enough reason to
rethink a course of action. I guess after two failed attempts to persuade the
crazy person in charge that its really going to hurt, that reason shuts
down...sulks off somewhere and hangs a big lettered I TOLD YOU SO scribbled in
black marker over a do not disturb sign, then hangs it on its
doorknob and locks the door; probably for a decade at least. I have no example of why not to quit
chocolate cake testing, so I suppose there are always exceptions to every rule,
right?
Well that's
all amusing I hope.
I had a
glucose test today. I didn't know it was going to take two hours to complete until I had already got it under way. I mean, sure it makes sense to take blood
after fasting for 24 (PLUS) hours and then ....I stopped thinking about it I
guess. So then I'm in the midst of
this test and the Lab tech tells me how the increments will go as I'm suddenly awaken to the game plan.
"Oh so drink this sugary drink, yeah,
and I guess take a sample of my blood, right....what in a hour? Oh....well, ok
I guess...what? And in another hour take a sample again?" I'm thinking, I
have a breakfast burrito waiting for me in the car. I was thinking I'd come in,
give some blood, and um....go away? Yeah-that doesn't make much sense NOW does
it? [right near the foot shooting example I’d say]
So, I got
to sit in an empty reception room for two hours without having anything to read…I
didn’t bring anything because I was oblivious to the amount of time the test
would take. And when you resort to
reading the magazines in an office waiting room, well, it’s conclusive; you're desperate.
Although I must admit I never really considered how the Amish made butter until today.
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