So Much Sky to See

            To not settle for a life that is devoid of emotion is a tribute to our self-love.  I've come to realize something about the universe, and I think it important to share with you at this crossroad.  Often, we make proclamations that we want to change.  We desire to invest our efforts in improving the person we are.  Whether it's to give up a destructive habit, or to invest in our personal growth; (that being obtaining more education, expanding our spirituality, or just general all around 'self' house cleaning)

            Whatever the reason for this moment; sought or thrust upon us, such as life's events like death or relationship crises, all in all we come to the moment of proclamation that we desire change, and we address it as a plan to do better.  No sooner do we make this 'resolution' than it seems the universe test us.  For some, it is a reason to give up...that the world is just against them...but I'd submit, it’s the universe saying..." Really?"

            If earnest for change, what better way than to face those situations having wrought our complaint?  If its weight; the feast is offered upon our commitment to not over indulge.  If it's smoking; a poker party with your smoking friend is delivered.  The situations go on endlessly, but the amusing thing for me is to recognize that whatever the challenge, the universe is right there presenting opportunity to test our resolve.  To allow us to 'wear' our desire to be as we wish;  always as a test to our commitment to that change.  Certainly wisdom delivered in a gaily-colored box would be a delight.  As would be compassion,

    " Oh yes, another helping of that is always welcomed"

 but really, isn't that rather Pollyannaish to entertain that our growth is something that is effortless?  When did that fantasy become an embraced fact of life?  We all know that gains come from sacrifice of comfort; where work is necessary investment for bearing fruits of desires.  We do not become accomplished musicians over night, nor command the fluency of languages, or competencies in anything that we've mastered in our lives in a single deft stroke.  It took time and dedicated and determined effort.  Wisdom's kiss is strife embraced.  Compassion's cloak is woven from tears of suffering.  Why would we think, or feel, that our wishes were cheap?  Resist the tendency to believe that our obstacles are there to break our resolve.  They are opportunities for us to participate and so feel connected.

              Be determined and continue to seek fulfillment of heart, and not measure progress by obtaining results.  The investment of the heart is the journey, not the destination.  It is not the seeing the course, but the walking of the road of self-love.  And those are daily steps of self-appreciation.  I'll share with you this truth.  Love is an expression of self.  Not something that is attained from others.  Love is given, not taken. We've been deluded into accepting that our spirits and hearts are subject to the same promise of Burger King.... Having it your way.  Our challenge is to seek our joy, and recognize that they are independent of the actions of others.  Where desire to control the world, is our proclamation that we do not love.  Instead, that we embrace fear and will work to its end, that of consumption of our attention and efforts.  Love is release from our fear; to enjoy our hearts delights in being.  When we love, we give out of our gratitude.  We invest our compassion in lifting those that we have affections for, never concerned with what we get in return.  Because the truth of it is, when we love sincerely we receive the gift from within.  When we feel connected we extinguish the life dampening delusion of being alone.

            I embrace my fellow companions in this divine awakening.  Saluting their personal courage to explore a better way and take this walk.  When we are out of shape, sudden activity will make our muscles sore; but that's transitory.  If we refuse to allow the discomfort to dissuade our effort, soon we will be robust in our health and then can engage in joy of activities of all sorts.  So it is with the heart; if it languishes unused, then when it does suddenly fly up in expression of its nature, it too will experience the pain and hurts of being out of shape. 

Yet even as our spirits take flight; making for sore wings, we must have faith and keep flying

            There's still just so much sky to see.

The Christmas Gift

We have passed the winter solstice, reason to celebrate that our days will grow stronger as we travel through winter towards the spring; I lose count of that subtle truth in my every day activities.  Many cultures celebrate this event as coming toward more daylight, and I readily agree with that idea; it’s worth celebrating. Over the years we’ve gathered reasons to celebrate this time of year, and in that effort to soften and gift those in our lives that make living pleasant; yes, any dedicated time for appreciation is welcomed by me.  How we do that is to the imagination.  To come home, to send a special wanted item, seems the possibilities are endless, but always with the spirit of communion.   I am like most, rushing to accomplish a list of necessary self appointed tasks to make this celebration special; I’ve found, all too often, I inadvertently wear myself out in that effort.  So then I’m not present to be gifted as it were.  What a turn of phrases is it not?

   I come from a tradition of hectic chaos trying to accomplish all those tasks for the holiday. The list of must was so overwhelming that too often it beat the fun out of the holidays. By the time I became an adult I was burned out on Christmas.  As a child I had a vague awareness of added stress by the grown-ups, but with guile I could avoid igniting any full blown scolding if I just stayed out of the way.  When I had my own family I realized full force the difficult task of juggling a demanding job while also trying to ‘make’ Christmas happen. 

   One Christmas in particular stands out in my mind.  It was, unfortunately, the first Christmas after my divorce.  My son’s mother picked him up to go with her to celebrate with her family at their farm.  I was invited, but it felt awkward for me to come, so I declined the many offers to come along. Frankly, I didn’t want to.  Once they left, I had the day to myself. I called friends, while also accepting a last minute dinner invitation.  I called my parents and my siblings to wish them a joyful holiday.  I watched It’s a wonderful life while sitting on the couch strumming my guitar.  I did a host of things on the spur of the moment.  It was so foreign for me to be experiencing a quiet Christmas Day; No arguments over details, or expectations.  I didn’t have to rush off somewhere, dress up for some party, none of that. It was truly a Peaceful day.  I knew from that experience where the peace of Christmas came from; attitude.  Since then I make it a point not to make demands, and most of all I abandon any expectations from others.  In doing so, every Christmas day is a welcomed event for me to give of myself what I am able and willing to give.

Echoes

What a very appreciative soul I have this day.

The messenger bows

I've noticed how often we can affect the buoyancy of others...a smile, a kind word, and appreciation.

Of course conversely speaking the same can be observed of the effect of an accusing tone and wilting by an admonishing act and measures of isolation

I feel, as we ourselves collect those unfair and unjust actions put upon our innocence’s, so that we are given opportunity to know the experience; feel its negative effect.

Eventually we may learn to release the notion that it was 'our fault' and see the underlying truth.

That would be:  what practice not to put upon others

For every harm inflicted upon another, is a self-validation of an illusion where we are 'bad' 'evil' or undeserving of kind considerations.

I'm ever glad when we union in joy

And share laughter readily

And yes, suggest bliss that could be had

Should we get

Within reach.

Suffice to say when we connect...over these methods and devices

The world benefits by the refreshed and invigorated

Hearts on fire