Come Back

I had been pondering the frequency of revisiting my past, as if the effort in doing so would somehow make sense of the present; or to at least reinforce hope for a better tomorrow. I'd be less than honest if I didn't include that I do that because of a general preference to having more of the pleasant and less of the distasteful.

      Somehow in my practice, I attempt to gist a value of love in the present compared to when I felt so enamored by the ideal of its visited past occurrence. Like it or not, my pressing desire remains focused on feeling once more the heady passionate rush of ‘being’ in loves presence.

  Most of the time that entailed having all of my past come back alive.  I know that my love is something I can only feel at the moment and that no one can 'give me' that feeling. Even if I'd admit holding what I cherish about a past situation can spur a torrent of loving feelings to surface, I still may mistakenly feel that the love of the past is somehow connected to a specific 'person' or 'place' even an 'event' as if it were really right here and now. 

     But that's deluding myself that the past continues to have relevance to the present; only if I assign its value to be that of course.  I feel emotions can behave with an entitled access to memory of past feelings, as a mental process of compare and contrast which are never ending in matriculating the question ‘is this valued?’  Even when the presence of the object that inspires my process is no longer necessary for me to recall how I felt.  In truth, I aspire towards love with the aid of another. Then, in gratitude, I realize I have the power to love all I want; isn't that sweet to realize?
     Sure, I desire, that is a wonderful facet of the human condition.  As also it is to hope, that often develops faith that what I desire will somehow, and someday arrive.  Should I continue to embrace my enthusiasm in such thinking, further on, with excited anticipation, I enjoy; so then, consider my conjuring a successful endeavor into quality; anything else would be needless suffering.
     Love now is all there is, and what we forgo, or sacrifice, for the sake of a promise to a future experience of it will just never pay off; you can't feel the future. 

     Just as we sparkle in the company of soft new life, (babies, puppies, kittens) or are drawn into a tenderness indescribable when witnessing lovers kiss, we are ever called to experience the thrill and the zest of feeling new; of the excitement in encounter, as we unfold and relax into the notion of being ‘in’ loves embrace.
Yes, love now, like it was our only purpose. Because I suspect, in truth, it is.

Get a Job

In biology, any group, or for the reference, fish, that stay together for social reasons are shoaling.  If the group is swimming in the same direction in a coordinated manner, they are schooling.  To apply that to human social experiment of maturing ~ when we are seeking employment we are schooling but when we’re conversing with the fellow sitting in the chair next to us in the unemployment office then we’re shoaling.

The point of my entrance here is to make an observation that ours is a gauntlet of social obstacles.  We learn to date, drive and get a job.  Specifically, there are many techniques and many, many paths to obtain the coveted “job.” Finding one, and most importantly LIKING it, is the consummate challenge of life; even more than, I’d say, selecting a life partner. 

  Oh my, why so?  It’s not about the money; it’s not about the prestige.  It’s not ever about the status, even if all of these external measures are subtle leads towards the real effort to succeed: It’s about competency. 

   When we obtain ‘the job’ we check the social maturity block of adequacy.  We are part of the collective whole that is making the effort towards, or schooling as I earlier mentioned, in a direction of sufficiency.

   I am supposed to get a job.  I can skirt it with rationalization about why not, but that’s self delusion and it’ll wear out sooner or later; I can use a number of readily delaying tactics (injury, necessary training for a particular skill, inadequate funds to obtain that training, things like that.) Yet the point of departure remains an agreed upon expectation that we work; so then we work a job. 

   Now I’ve been listening keenly to the media concerning our current macro situation of unemployment and how many pundits say, ‘get off your ass and get a job’ as a solution.  Under employment or labor in humiliating conditions, notwithstanding, getting any job is the solution to the deplorable situation of unemployment. The sacred job appears to be all that is necessary to obtain social standing; that’s one of the reasons a condition for receiving government assistance is tied the formula that the person is only deserving of help if they are working first. But working just to claim you are working is not enough, not by a long shot. 

   Our ultimate happiness is anchored in three pivotal characteristics:  Sense of autonomy; where we believe we can make decisions about where to go and when, free of duress. Competence; where we feel we have a significant skill to contribute to an enterprise and where we alone are uniquely able to provide that service. Then connection; where our fellow human beings freely and gladly commune with us in good humor and cooperative living.  Autonomy and connection are fluid, so are difficult to get a clear handle on how each person regards what level of those are necessary to be happy.  Nor are they catastrophic when they fluctuate.  But competence? Oh baby, that’s the tall pole in the tent as my old First Sergeant used to say. (that being the tall pole is the first thing that needs to go up inside a tent to lift the canvass in order to make the shelter work.)  Without competence the job is prison.  It’s a means to an end; the paycheck.  But a job that fulfills the need for competence is in and of itself the end.  The pay is a welcomed (and necessary) by-product, but a person who feels competent performs the necessary tasks, assignments, and duties without being threatened or overly supervised; they are accomplished and so the person obtains a sense of competency. 

   Our unemployed millions don’t need work so much as they need a sense of competency.  I don’t think our government leaders really get that.  They quibble over length of unemployment benefits while fretting over squelching motivation to find work with too liberal access to checks.  What unemployment really means is an individual has lost their competency, (by virtue of downsizing or outright dismissal.)  Every, well most, who have worked have transferable skills.  They know now to communicate, they know how to solve problems, and given proper instruction, can follow processes.  I don’t care how complex a job may be, ALL processes can be taught; so then learned. 

   Today we are so credential conscious that the question can this candidate be trained? Has been lost to do they have the official paperwork that says he has been trained to do the job.  To be an eager worker is to be competent; that begins with feeling able, and that means to be treated with respect.  That will lead towards treating others with respect and ultimate harmony.  The future CEO of any company still had to be taught how to get an outside phone line and where the rest rooms were.  From there, it was just a question of applied training into the skills that made success a possibility.

An Inviting

     As inviting as it is to dialog on external events, and clearly there are opinions to be gleaned, particularly during the political gearing up for presidential elections right now.  I prefer to stay more focused on my circle of influence versus my larger and less defined canvass of concern.  Because of the intricacies of the external matter, most of the details that elicit an emotional reaction are provided to perpetuate a story beyond my personal experience, or ability to test the falseness or truthfulness of outrageous claims.  I find that at best I am a voyeur and at worse living a fabricated opinion of 'if it were me'.

     What matters most at the moment to my sphere of 'control'  as that is loosely defined, are facets far removed from the situational issues affecting people I don't even know.  Circumstances that have direct relationship to my perception are not related to affective values of moral, ethical, or integrity choices made by people who are living and perpetuating a drama far from my personal-daily-experience.  

I've little to add with respects to the evaluation of world process; which is akin to witnessing a stampede.  We can agree or disagree with the direction of the head long rush, but stand clear as to rationalizing what caused the ruckus and most amusing, convince ourselves we can actually do anything significant at the moment to silence the rumbling chaos.  

I had a professor once mention that in situations where the limitations are known and agreed upon, then violated anyway, well then the only option is to come see her when the grades are posted and "we'll be sad together."

     I consider the premise of what benefit does discussion of an abstract third party do to the quality of anyone’s lives?  I wish to share those events that have a more intimate effect on my decision making than those that may influence my comfort in beliefs as being validated or resisted.  Perhaps that may smack of indifference, but it strikes me that being a spectator is more a preoccupation of our times.  Being a benefit is about inclusion, discussion of external events feels like an energy leak; a misplaced focus.  How does feeling sad for general populations outside of personal influence effect the quality of your life in the here and now?

    I'm not advocating isolationism...far from it.  I am questioning our discipline in discerning what we spend ourselves on? And the genuine interest in effecting health and wholeness, or the insatiable attraction towards drama as entertainment.  No matter how sublime, doing so is a replacement to actual involvement.  Awareness starts at home, and in those real issues of interaction with the people we know, love, and wish to include in our daily navigation of living well.

Who are these strangers that occupy my living moments?