Sniper

The Joke goes: In Heaven the cooks are French, the policemen are English, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and the bankers are Swiss. In Hell, the cooks are English, the policemen are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and the bankers are Italian.

Makes for a good chuckle, because many people see the irony when stereotyping these nationalities; their strengths, and where they are, um, not as outstanding.  Yes, I realize I am on the cusp of being pointed out as a racist or some other type of bigoted mean spirited fault finder, but bear with me because it sets up my tale.

During our recent visit to Barcelona a thought teased me as to those natural characteristics of the Catalan’s, like other nationalities, where they would really shine.  Since I plan to move there I wasn’t looking for what they didn’t do well, but what they really outshone others at.  Over their history, and it’s a long one to be sure, they’ve shown a resiliency that matches none other I know of. Not only are they resilient, but they are innovative as well as hardworking; but those qualities are shared by many other nationalities, and those qualities didn’t necessarily make them stand out so much as to be admired for their stubbornness to not surrender to authorities who considered them inferior. I myself am part Irish and I was coached since childhood that stubborness was a virtue for my ancestors. Just as I embraced that along with a healthy appreciation for alcohol, but that's another story. On this occasion the topic arose unexpectedly. It was during our walk to find a flower shop my wife’s cousin suggested we use for their St. Jordi celebration.  It’s similar to Valentine’s Day with a slight twist. The women get a rose, but men get a book from their beloved. It’s lot’s for fun, and of course if you miss the nudge to participate, you get looked at as if you’d a stick in the mud.

So we go looking for this great place.  Like any other time, looking for a location you are unfamilar with requires first off to get your bearings; meaning spot a street sign, then move out from that known location.

That was when it dawned on me the Catalonian expertise.

They were natural born snipers

They had to be.

Because the meager size of the street signs were impossible to see. Even walking on the opposite side of the street they were nearly impossible to make out, never mind if one were driving in traffic. Seeking an address while navigating by street signs was virtually impossible.  These signs are less than eighteen inched boxes framing scripted letters and numbers.  Oh, and it also appears they have not been replaced or repainted since the time before Franco, and he died in 1975. No kidding, look at these examples.

 

 

 One would have to have a hawk’s vision to spot these signs, yet alone fathom what they said in the mere seconds driving past in thick traffic.  I mean, only someone with near super-hero vision would be able to spot those little suckers and then make out what they said.

Oh sure, reason might suggest, people who live there already know where the streets are, but I’ve lived in towns for decades and couldn’t tell you where every small street was; sure the major boulevards but not the side streets.  ALL of the streets have the same size signs hooked on the corners, that happen, more often than not, obscuring vendor namesake signs in close proximity.  Now take those natural vision talents and apply them to real world work: Snipers.

 Every military in the world should employ Catalonian’s as there special unit snipers.  That’s it, that’s the end of the debate. I cannot fathom anyone with more accurate visional acuity than those people who live in the bustle of Barcelona and are able to find shops and addresses they’ve never been.  That’d be my wager anyway.