Thursday, December 20, 2012

Goofy Gratitude


I like the goofy gratitude that cascades during the Christmas holidays. It’s close to having a feature roll in IT's A WONDERFUL LIFE, (yes and I watch it every year at this time.)
  A practice of gratitude is a daring to express how you feel. I think it serves both the sender and the receiver. When I consider the influence I command daily...I am in awe. Not for the responsibility, but in something else I see in the quality freely given; I am grateful for easy humor, and of course....it suggesting a different world than fretting.
   " One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye." (Antoine de Saint Exupery).  As also expressed, the importance of relationships,
   “ You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed” and
   “It is the time you have devoted to your rose that makes your rose so important.” I think I’ll seek to include more of those types into my life; something that would pay daily dividends without a lot of fuss.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Pet Owners, Pet Lovers


My job, in the family, is play.  With the cats, not so much; but the dog, well that’s a different story.
Oscar has a clear idea of who does what, and that's my assigned job hands-down, as I’m reminded of it daily.
But on occasion, he'll play with mommy, and that's fine by me, I suspect it’s just him trying to be fair with his time; Or, it could just as well be his way of reminding her that he is HER dog as well, (usually after her going up stairs nightly and spending time with the kitties). Breeds compete, for attention, for sure.
    As they were wrestling over a toy we named Patches, I listened with amusement at his persistent vocalizing during their tug-of-war and chasing the tossed rag-a-muffin. That’s when it dawned on me how much noise he brings into our home. And the ironic thing is that his noise invokes laughter and smiles from both of us. Whenever I consider what our life would have been like if we didn't adopt him, I get shivers. I didn't like the view of a life without him making noise in our home.
   Oscar is a small Bichon Frise, all of twenty pounds, but his effect is huge. So much of our day is filled with him; from the daily morning vigil of watching  kids walk to the bus stop from his perch on the couch, and then him running to the front window barking alarm as they passed, to his grumbling when we tell him to calm down. Then the adventures of his daily walks around the neighborhood; they are never the same
  I'm certain he adores his pack, just as we enjoy and cherish how his presence fills our life. I could go into depth on challenges to our sense of comfort as well~ but not today; no one thrills at late night potty calls in bad weather; Nobody.  Yet, when I weigh conveniences of comfort without him against the warmth and happiness of being with him; even if it’s mostly him demanding attention; I'll take him over convenience every time.
  No work or distraction demands my attention like play with Oscar. And because of that, he provides the colors to this wonderful painting of my life that I treasure. Maybe it’s because he is more than a thing...property of mine...perhaps it’s because I continue to marvel at how unpredictable he can be; how affectionately inclusive his nature with every moment he sees us both. He likes us and it shows.
I am not crazy about his chew bones, they smell horrible, but he delights in them, and constantly brings them to me for sharing.
Now really....will a job ever do that?
I think not.
I believe the real distinction between pet owners and pet lovers is the approach to the pet.  Lovers care about them, and in that, respect them as living beings with choices just like us.   Pets can choose to rely only on our delivery of needs for them, (food, cleaning out the litter box or take on walks).  Or they can gift us with the wonder of their personalities.  In this house we are a circus of characters…as I have an every-day free pass.  
All I have to come with is sincere and inclusive attention.  After all, it’s OUR home.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Looking For Work


I went shopping for necessary ingredients to make Zucchini Bread; one of my favorite wife-made-concoctions. Added to those, were a host of other items we were growing in short supply; so best fetch them while I was at it. While steering into the checkout line I made eye contact with a woman, who said,
"I think I know you?"
In that vague sort of way that happens when memory doesn't serve up recall on demand. Whenever I have those episodes it becomes a game of blurting out places we've been, jobs that we've held. Turns out in this case we both served in the Reserve Troop Augmentation unit to Headquarters, Third Army. As we played catch-up from the last time we were with the command, it turned out she had become a firefighter.
   We'd shift from what we’re doing at this moment to talking about common events and people we knew in the command. The topic drifted back to her being a firefighter in a neighboring county; she was discouraged and was considering leaving. I asked why was that? She said it was the lack of leadership, that and outright on-the-job bullying.  It appears with all the local public governments cutting cost the atmosphere was turning to that of 'take-it-or-leave-it' attitude by an ever shrinking and demanding management cadre.
   "There are plenty of people looking for this kind of work and you'll be easily replaced".
  We laughed at the irony of it all. In the service, no matter how bad we thought we had it, we saw that they took care of us; at least to the degree of trying to keep us relatively safe and secure. Then we talked about looking for work. She too had her masters degree, and was coming to the similar conclusion I was toying with; that of perhaps being overeducated.
She had applied for seasonal work and was turned down at pretty much the same places I had applied for as well. We just couldn't connect the dots on what disqualified us from menial work? What qualifies you to stock boxes or greet people in retail?
  Near as we could figure it was that we were that dreaded term of being overqualified. I'm not of course convinced it was just us mastering degrees. I sense it has to do with our age as well. She was 42 and I'm 58. To be frank, we're too old to be intimidated by outrageous demands by young managers who have limited leadership skills as well as being accustomed to bullying neophyte employees into doing their bidding. I saw similar when I was with the Infantry. Years back, the draft would pull in these raw recruits who could barely read. So they had been conditioned to obey their superiors and do what they were told without a lot of questioning. This wasn't the case in the mid-80's. These kids volunteered for combat arms for the college funds. Many of these kids came into the Infantry, Armor, and Field Artillery because of the tuition kicker for volunteering for much-needed-but-avoided military occupations, such as all of the Combat Arms branches. Leading these bright-young-men was a challenge to the tried and true method of intimidation through harm if orders were not obeyed. These kids could reason. Often, they could even find a better course of action than that of their superiors.
   Now to appreciate the whole picture, the senior sergeants were the conditioned type. They came from that background and persevered the grueling years to become the senior middle-grade leaders of the Army. Most didn't have any college, they were seasoned in and by the methods of intimidation; where questioning was paramount to mutiny. It was a conflict of worlds, and I made note of it when I was a lieutenant. It was frustrating on occasion to take time to explain our logic to those who would have to follow our orders; but in all honesty, it's their lives in the balance to poor planning, maybe they did deserve to give input?
   I suspect the same sort of reluctance to hire seasoned and educated applicants. Management doesn't need a lot of thinking going on in the rank and file. When the pool of applicants included naive teenage workers eager to win approval, even along with those who would only act when told, the prospect of hiring them was superior to a thinking worker who'd question the rational of a course of action a manager-in-training would make.
It was just too much work to convince the seasoned worker what made sense; their questioning ways would cultivate a culture of questioning the management; and that should be avoided.
Having discussed those possibilities we nodded in agreement that it was probably was the case; and too bad, but what could you do? I said, 'keep looking until you find a place that isn't afraid of its workers'
We just might be looking a very long time indeed.