Just Yesterday

 

Just yesterday,

routines commanded attention

laughter was effortless

in the familiar rhythm

of living without fear

A rudderless abandon

breathlessly we called

Fun

Our cares were superficially immediate

solutions flawlessly executed

It was easy to forget what time it was

No lack,

no whisper of a pressing need

All that changes

Sooner or later

life upsets tranquil comfort

A physical departure

by change

ending a pleasant chapter  

suddenly there is a ghost occupying our space

memories serve them up like o’hordevers 

the out of placeness

Awkward pantamonie of rituals

absent of past gusto

Oblivious to the practiced comfortable steps

missing diminishes the strongest light

purpose dissolves as dusk to the day

a punch in the stomach

floodgates from attachment

To the quirky spirit of a learned attribute

grief swells to eclipse an ordinary action

the other now absent

tears wash to cleanse

the gritty abrasion of loss

The ache of missing

my soul moans with the labor

leaching my vitality

If imbued with God like power

in the moment

I would not grant the world

peace

or even justice

I would reclaim my love lost

if only for a solitary moment

so as to look lovinging

into the eyes of my delight

just one more time

just one more

You're Never Really Lost...You're Right Here

 

I could offer excuses; reasons even.It's been too long. 

Perhaps not long enough.  I'm reminded of cleaning out my father's study after his passing. In those devastated days no one in the family 'took charge' or 'assigned tasks'. It was more a case of whoever felt up to the task was as close to volunteering as it'd come. There I sat at the desk and emptied each drawer with a mixture of dread and amazement.  He hoarded items that puzzles me to this day.  It just so happens yesterday was the anniversary of the twelfth year of his death.

The point being, I marveled at so much junk.  I'm convinced they were treasured; at some time by him. But as for us, the living, they were glimmerless. At the end of last year I became intimate with the changing around me and conjectured that all my work was floating out on the cloud. I also noticed at the end of December the tech giants were becoming more ambitious tyrants; so much so I sensed sooner than later I would be informed access to my work would come at a cost;  I just read Australia is having this wake-up call as I type.  When calculating my options I realized, I had little to none. The paper copies of my work were decades old.  I had been editing for a long time, so my treasure chest did not reflect what was real.  The documents now were left open for extortion.

I've updated my poetry, and essays, and am now standing at the fork of the road of my blog postings and my short stories along with books in various degrees of progress.  Because time is of the essence, I will attempt to generate a hard copy of them all.  During this process of active conclusion, I returned to this portal and was surprised to see how dormant I left it.  I am both aggrieved and grateful.  I'm glad the blog still exist. As I am also saddened to notice how I, along with my fellow humans, appear to default to ignoring aspects of our lives we cherish. I'll go into more depth on that later, because I choose to return and post.  I don't know who will read this. And frankly, that's besides the point of engaging on your own terms.  Independent of permission or approval. 

Isn't that what they used to call Liberty